Many of us mistakenly believe that perfectionism is a healthy motivator, but that’s often not the case.

Perfectionism is defined as the tendency to place unrealistic demands on ourselves or others.

Common traits include a fear of failure, self-criticism, obsessive thinking, reassurance-seeking, and unattainable goal setting.

Perfectionism can make us feel unhappy with our lives and can even lead us to stop trying to succeed.

Let’s talk further about perfectionism.

Is Perfectionism Healthy?

How Do You Know If You Are A Perfectionist?

Perfectionists will often believe they must be good and right to be worthy.  A perfectionist will have excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations.

They insist on perfection and normally accept nothing shy of flawlessness. This can manifest in the form of criticism of self and others and in attempts to control situations and people.

Consequently, perfectionists are usually conscientious, responsible, improvement-oriented, and self-controlled, but also critical, resentful and self-judging.

Signs Of Perfectionism

• Being ambitious and driven.
• Difficulty overlooking small mistakes.
• Having high standards and expectations.
• Exaggerated fear of failure.
• Feeling pressured to live up to high expectations.
• Needing clear organization and structure.
• Higher levels of self-doubt and insecurity.

What Triggers A Perfectionist?

Perfectionism is often driven by a fear of failure, feelings of unworthiness, low self-esteem, and sometimes adverse childhood experiences.

It can be accompanied by depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, eating disorders, and even suicidal impulses.

Is Perfectionism A Control Issue?

Perfectionism, anxiety, and anger are all associated with a high need for control, which can obviously interfere with our relationships and happiness in a major way.

Although we might rationally know that life is unpredictable and perfection isn’t possible, it can be hard to let go of certain tendencies.

Perfectionism is often about an almost obsessive need to have control over every aspect of life. The need for control may come from a deep-rooted shame regarding failure.

As perfection itself is generally an unrealistic goal, it can create great feelings of anxiety and depression.

What Are Perfectionists Afraid Of?

They will often have a fear of failure, disapproval or making mistakes. 

They have an irrational belief that all things must be perfect, and they’re unable to adjust their expectations. Failures are the worst thing that can happen in their eyes.

Can Being A Perfectionist Be A Good Thing?

There is little upside to perfectionism. The relentless pursuit of flawlessness can lead to low self-worth, depressive and anxiety disorders, and high stress in the face of failure.

However, some positive common traits of perfectionists include being highly accurate and diligent in their tasks. Other positive characteristics include attention to detail, persistence, conscientiousness, goal-orientation, and organization.

At the workplace a perfectionist may be described as a “detail-oriented” or “conscientious” worker, for example.

Are Perfectionists Born Or Made?

As with most situations, people are complicated and unique.

According to what I have discovered, one person’s perfectionistic tendencies may be the result of trauma while others may have learned it from a parent who exhibited obsessive/compulsive behaviour. Others may have inherited it as a genetic trait.

What Is The Opposite Of Perfectionism?

The opposite of perfectionism is acceptance.

Acceptance means accepting ourselves for who we are right now. We have to stop comparing our life to someone else’s and stop trying to be perfect. The way to change is to begin with accepting our imperfections.

What Is A Weakness Of Perfectionism?

Perfectionism can never be attained.

It’s a fear-based pattern that may lead to short-term rewards like getting the job done early and exceeding expectations. However, in the long-term, trying to attain perfectionism leads to burnout, and even potentially lower-quality work, and missed deadlines.

One thing that perfectionists often struggle with is procrastination. It happens because we set unrealistic goals, and it’s one of the most common reasons why perfectionism is a weakness.

We set unrealistic expectations for ourselves, then delay starting until it’s too late, or the perfect time to start never comes.

What Is The Root Of Perfectionism?

The root of perfectionism is believing our self-worth is based on our achievements.

Perfectionism is also often present due to past rigid, high parental expectations in childhood, or highly critical, shaming, or abusive parents.

Tips to Overcome Perfectionism

• Become more aware of your tendencies.
• Lower the pressure you put on yourself.
• Set more achievable goals.
• Avoid procrastination.
• Pursue things that make you happy.
• Learn how to receive criticism.
• Remember that mistakes are not bad and allow yourself to make mistakes.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately, perfectionism is just a fear of failure which can stop us from completing our work or even beginning our work, sometimes stopping us from chasing our dreams.

On its own, perfectionism can be a neutral quality, but it can easily become a toxic trait once someone starts to think they and everyone around them must live up to unrealistic standards.

The tendency to be overly self-critical and hold oneself to high standards of performance can ultimately lead to depressive symptoms and block our feelings of joy and happiness.

Please comment or follow the links, thanks for reading.

Sources and other reading:

Perfectionism Helpful Or Hurtful?

The Mental Health Benefits Of Routine

What Is Stoicism?

Dealing With Body Image Issues

How To Stop Overthinking

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