Dealing with argumentative people can be challenging, especially when emotions run high or when the conversation seems to go in circles.
Encountering someone that thrives on conflict can put your patience and communication skills to the test. But there are ways to handle these interactions calmly and effectively without getting caught up in the storm.
Let’s talk about how to manage conversations with argumentative people.
Dealing with Argumentative People
Stay Calm and Keep Your Emotions in Check
One of the most important things you can do when dealing with an argumentative person is to remain calm.
It’s easy to get swept up in the intensity of an argument, but escalating our own emotions only fuels the fire.
Take deep breaths, stay composed, and try not to let the person’s attitude provoke you. If needed, take a break from the conversation to regain your composure.
When we stay calm, we’re better able to think clearly, communicate rationally, and avoid making the situation worse. Keeping our emotions in check also sends the message that we’re not easily provoked, which can sometimes defuse an argument.
Listen Actively, Even if You Disagree
Sometimes, people just want to feel heard. Before jumping in with your rebuttal or point of view, listen carefully to what the other person is saying.
Show empathy by nodding or acknowledging their feelings. This helps in reducing tension and allows for understanding of the root of the disagreement.
Listening attentively can make the other person feel validated, lowering the likelihood of them continuing to argue simply for the sake of being heard. Active listening also gives us a better understanding of their perspective, which helps us respond thoughtfully.
Avoid Taking It Personally
An argumentative person often thrives on pushing buttons, but their behaviour usually reflects their own insecurities or frustrations.
Keep your responses focused on the issue, not the individual’s character.
When we take things personally, we’re more likely to get defensive or upset, which can turn the situation into a battle of egos. By not taking things personally, we maintain our emotional distance and prevent ourselves from getting drawn into an unproductive conflict.
Choose Your Battles Wisely
You don’t have to engage in every argument. If the situation is minor or the person isn’t receptive to reason, it might be better to walk away from the conversation.
Not every disagreement needs resolution, and sometimes, avoiding a conflict is the best course of action for preserving our peace of mind.
Confronting every issue head-on can lead to exhaustion or frustration. By choosing the battles that actually matter to us, we conserve our energy and ensure that our responses are more impactful when we do decide to engage.
Use “I” Statements Instead of “You” Statements
When making your point, use “I” statements rather than accusing the other person with “you” statements. For example, say “I feel frustrated when we go in circles” instead of “You always just argue for the sake of arguing.” This approach reduces defensiveness and promotes a more constructive conversation.
This allows for a more open, less combative discussion and minimizes the chances of escalating the argument.
I came across this concept in the past, and have found it to be really effective.
Use Humour to Diffuse Tension
In some situations, injecting a little humour can help ease the tension and shift the focus away from the argument.
Humour breaks the tension and makes people less likely to stay defensive. It also shows that you’re not taking the argument too seriously, which can encourage the other person to calm down as well.
Final Thoughts
Dealing with conflict doesn’t have to be a battle. Ultimately, how we respond to an argument reflects our emotional resilience and maturity.
By staying calm and listening actively, we can maintain our peace while still addressing issues constructively.
Not all arguments need to be won, and sometimes the best solution is simply to walk away or agree to disagree.
Consider also that sometimes disagreements or argumentative people can be blessings in disguise.
They might help us evolve and learn more about ourselves. If something or someone has triggered us maybe they are teaching us something?
Let me know your thoughts, thanks for reading!
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