We all go through hard times.

And we all have those moments when life feels heavy, uncertain, or overwhelming.

But even when we’re surrounded by people who care about us, sometimes opening up to them can feel impossibly hard. Why is that?

If you’ve ever felt the weight of your emotions but found yourself hesitating to reach out to the very people who love you most, you’re not alone.

Let’s talk about why it can feel so difficult, and why that doesn’t mean you’re broken or ungrateful.

Why It’s Hard To Open Up When Struggling

We Don’t Want to Be a Burden

One of the most common reasons people keep things to themselves is fear of burdening others.

When we’re struggling, we might convince ourselves that our loved ones already have enough on their plates, and that our pain may only add to their stress.

The truth is that most people would rather know you’re hurting than be left in the dark. The people who love you likely want to be there, even if they don’t always know how to help.

We’re Ashamed of What We’re Feeling

Hard times can stir up a lot of complicated emotions like shame, anger, fear, sadness, or confusion.

Sometimes we judge ourselves for feeling this way and assume others will too. We worry they’ll think we’re weak, dramatic, or broken. Society’s expectations and the fear of being seen as inadequate can prevent us from admitting our struggles.

But vulnerability isn’t weakness. It can actually be one of the most courageous things we can do. It takes strength to admit to someone else we may be struggling.

We Fear Being Misunderstood

Maybe you’ve tried opening up in the past and were met with advice instead of empathy, or with silence instead of support. These experiences can make us hesitant to try again.

It’s ok to be selective about who you talk to, and I would actually highly recommend it. Seek out people who really listen without trying to fix you.

We Don’t Have the Words

Pain isn’t always easy to explain. Sometimes the weight we’re carrying is so confusing or tangled that we don’t even know where to begin. So instead of fumbling through the mess, we stay silent.

But you don’t need perfect words to begin. A simple “I’m struggling a bit right now” can open the door.

We’re Trying to Stay in Control

Talking about hard things can make them feel more real. It can break the illusion of control we cling to when everything feels uncertain. There’s comfort in pretending everything’s fine, even if it’s exhausting.

I would put myself in this camp when I’ve dealt with adversity or struggles in the past. But denying what we’re going through doesn’t make it go away. It can make us feel more alone in it.

So What Can We Do?

Start small. You don’t have to tell the whole story. You can just say, “I’ve been having a tough time lately.”

Choose the right people. Not everyone will get it, and that’s ok. Find those who do, or who are willing to try.

Let go of perfection. Your pain doesn’t have to be a blemish on your ego or personality. Some kind of struggle is commonplace for every human being.

Consider therapy or counsel. Sometimes having a neutral space is the best first step to finding your voice.

Seek out other resources. Read books, or research information online. Join a message board or seek out like-minded people on blog sites that you resonate with. So many people out there will be going through something similar, I can guarantee it.

Final Thoughts

If you’re going through something and it feels hard to talk about, that doesn’t mean you’re weak at all, it means you’re human. And you’re not alone in that feeling.

I also think there will be times when we just don’t want to share our struggles with others for various reasons, and that’s ok too. There’s no playbook you need to stick to, do what feels right for yourself depending on the situation.

Give yourself grace. You’re doing your best. And when you’re ready, even the smallest conversation can be a powerful step toward healing.

Please share your thoughts below in the comments, I wish you the best, and thank you so much for reading!

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