Confidence is an attribute that most of us would like to possess.

But it isn’t something that can be learned like a set of rules or techniques.  Confidence is more of a state of mind.

Positive thinking, practice, knowledge, and talking to other people are all helpful ways we can help improve or boost our confidence levels.

Let’s talk about building confidence.

How To Be More Confident

How Can I Appear Confident?

Learning how to show confidence while we work on actually becoming more confident can be a good strategy that helps us achieve our goals.

If we find it challenging to be genuinely confident in any given situation, we can try using strong body language to project the appearance of confidence.

There are some simple universal techniques to follow that may help us feel better about ourselves.

How To Appear More Confident Using Body Language

• Stand up straight.
• Make eye contact.
• Lean forward.
• Slow your movements.
• Keep your chin up.
• Don’t fidget.
• Avoid putting your hands in your pockets.
• Use mirroring.

How Can I Increase My Confidence?

• Recognize what you’re good at. 
• Learn to be assertive.
• Give yourself a challenge.
• Start saying no when required.
• Build positive relationships.
• Address negative self-talk and show yourself self-compassion.

Why Is My Confidence So Weak?

Sometimes a lack of confidence can stem from our past experiences.  Low self-esteem can come from an unhappy childhood where parents or teachers were extremely critical.

Poor academic performance in school can result in a lack of confidence. Ongoing stressful life events such as relationship breakdowns or financial troubles can also contribute to a lack of confidence.

Comparing ourselves to others or having unrealistic expectations for ourselves can also cause low confidence.

How Can I Improve My Self-Esteem?

• Look after yourself.
• Try to recognize your positives.
• Be kind to yourself.
• Build a support network.
• Set realistic goals.

What Are Signs Of A Lack Of Confidence?

• Feelings of self-doubt.
• Overly sensitive to criticism.
• Passive or submissive behavior.
• Difficulty trusting others.
• Feeling inferior to others.

How Do You Build Self-Esteem And Self Confidence?

• Remember it’s okay to make mistakes.
• Avoid comparing yourself to others.
• Recognize and challenge your unkind thoughts. 
• Repeat positive statements to yourself.
• Dwell on your positive qualities.
• Stop belittling yourself.
• Use positive self-affirmations to build your self-esteem.
• Surround yourself with positive, supportive people.
• Pay attention to self-care.
• Give back where you can.

How Do I Speak Up And Not Be Shy?

• Start small with people you know.
• Develop your assertiveness.
• Think of some conversation starters.
• Rehearse what to say.
• Don’t be so concerned with what other people think.

Tips For Confident Public Speaking

• Maintain eye contact with the audience.
• Reduce nervous habits.
• Slowly and steadily breathe.
• Use gestures to emphasize points.
• Move around the stage.
• Match facial expressions with what you’re saying.
• Know your audience.
• Preparation equals confidence.
• Use a visual aid.
• Share personal anecdotes.
• Keep it simple.
• Identify and eliminate any minor verbal flaws.

Final Thoughts

Confidence comes from feelings of well-being, acceptance of our body and mind and belief in our own abilities, skills and experience.

We’re all good at something, whether it’s cooking, singing, athletics, or just being a good friend. 

Likewise, we all have areas that we are less than good at, even the most confident among us.

Personally speaking, I’ve always considered myself to be a relatively confident person in most areas. 

But coming out of the pandemic and lockdowns, I’ve found myself second guessing some of my decisions in social settings, and also have just felt a general sense of having less confidence than before. 

Getting back out into the world after three years of lockdowns here in Canada has taken a bit of extra effort, please let me know in the comments if any of you are experiencing this as well where you live, and how you’ve dealt with it.

As always thanks for reading, it’s much appreciated, please comment or follow the links.

Sources and other reading:

Building Confidence

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Building Your Resilience

How To Get Out Of A Rut In Life

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