The need for validation is a common experience that touches everyone at some point in their lives.

This need stems from our deep-rooted desire to be seen, heard, and acknowledged by others.

However, while seeking validation can be a normal part of human interaction, becoming overly dependent on it can hinder our self-growth and happiness.

Let’s explore the dynamics of validation and how to find a healthy balance.

Why Do We Seek Validation?

What is Validation?

Validation is the recognition and affirmation of a person’s feelings, thoughts, or actions.

It can come from external sources such as friends, family, colleagues, or social media, or from within ourselves.

Validation reassures us that we are valued and that our experiences matter.

Why We Seek Validation

There are several reasons why people seek validation:

Affirmation of Self-Worth: Being validated by others can boost our self-esteem and reinforce our sense of self-worth.

Social Connection: Validation creates a sense of belonging and connection with others, which is a fundamental human need.

Guidance and Feedback: Positive feedback can guide our actions and decisions, helping us understand how our behaviour affects others and aligning us with social norms and expectations.

The Dangers of Over-Reliance on External Validation

While seeking validation is natural, over-reliance on external validation can lead to several issues:

Fragile Self-Esteem: When our self-worth is tied to others’ opinions, it becomes unstable and vulnerable to external fluctuations.

Loss of Authenticity: Constantly seeking approval can lead to people-pleasing behaviours, causing us to act in ways that are not true to ourselves.

Emotional Dependency: Dependence on others for validation can create an unhealthy emotional reliance, where our happiness is contingent on external affirmation.

Cultivating Internal Validation

To develop a healthier relationship with validation, it’s essential to cultivate internal validation. Here are some strategies to help build self-validation:

Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on your values, strengths, and accomplishments. Acknowledge your efforts and successes without waiting for others to do so.

Positive Self-Talk: Replace negative self-talk with affirmations and positive reinforcement. Remind yourself of your worth and capabilities.

Mindfulness and Self-Awareness: Practice mindfulness to stay connected with your true self. Awareness of your thoughts and feelings helps you understand and validate your own experiences.

Set Personal Goals: Define and pursue your own goals and standards of success. Focus on what matters to you, rather than what is expected by others.

Seek Balanced Feedback: While external feedback can be valuable, use it as one of many tools for growth rather than the sole determinant of your worth.

Balancing External and Internal Validation

A healthy balance between external and internal validation can enrich our lives. Here’s how to achieve it:

Appreciate Positive Feedback: Embrace positive feedback from others as a source of encouragement, but don’t let it be the sole driver of your self-esteem.

Set Boundaries: Learn to say no and set boundaries that protect your well-being, even if it means risking disapproval.

Celebrate Your Journey: Regularly celebrate your progress and achievements, recognizing that your value is inherent and not dependent on external approval.

Engage in Meaningful Relationships: Build relationships with those who support and uplift you, but also practice giving yourself the same support and encouragement.

Final Thoughts

Needing validation is a natural part of our human experience, but it’s important to find a balance between external validation and self-validation.

By cultivating a strong sense of internal validation, we can develop a more stable and authentic sense of self-worth.

Have you ever found yourself seeking validation from others? Let me know below.

Thanks for reading, please comment or follow the links.

Why Believing in Yourself is Important

How to Trust Your Instincts

Please visit the new Happy Hub Etsy Shop.

Please visit and follow Happy Hub’s Instagram page.

Check out the Happy Hub YouTube Channel.

Visit our new Products page.

Please see the following links for my newly released eBook Living Happy: The Complete Guide To True Contentment.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by JR (@happyhub.ca)