A people pleaser is generally someone that constantly seeks to make others happy and gain their approval.

They normally go to great lengths to meet the needs and desires of those around them, often at the expense of their own well-being or personal boundaries.

People pleasers usually have a strong desire to be liked and avoid conflict, so they might say yes to various requests, even if they don’t want to or can’t realistically fulfill them.

Let’s talk about people pleasing.

Am I A People Pleaser?

Why Is Wanting To Please People Bad?

While the intention of pleasing others and maintaining harmony in relationships can be generally positive, being a people pleaser can have negative consequences.

We may experience stress, burnout, and a diminished sense of self-worth when we prioritize others’ needs over our own.

We may struggle to assert ourselves, make decisions, and set healthy boundaries.

How Do I know If I’m A People Pleaser?

When we find it difficult to tell others no when they ask for something, we may be a people pleaser.

A lot of people pleasers prefer making up excuses later on to get out of a commitment, instead of just saying no up front.

When a people pleaser does follow through, they might regret not having the strength to stand up for themselves.

Signs You’re a People Pleaser

• Not being able to say no.
• You need constant approval.
• Apologizing needlessly.
• You exhibit low self-esteem.
• Feeling guilty setting boundaries.
• You often overcommit to plans, responsibilities, or projects.
• Feeling anxious about others’ opinions of you.
• You avoid disagreeing with people or voicing an honest opinion.

What’s The Root Cause Of People Pleasing?

People pleasing is a very common behaviour that can stem from a variety of underlying causes, like low self-esteem, a fear of rejection, or a desire for validation.

When we’re eager to please others, it’s worth it to explore our root causes in more depth.

How Do You Fix People Pleasing?

• Set healthy boundaries.
• Listen to your inner voice.
• Remember that you can’t please everyone.
• Learn to be assertive and stand up for yourself.
• Don’t worry about trying to fit in.
• Spend some time alone.

What Happens When You Stop Being A People Pleaser?

We generally have much healthier relationships and can even repair relationships that were damaged in the past.

We become able to truly help people when we want to, while maintaining a sense of self-worth, self-esteem, and positivity.

How Does Being A People Pleaser Hurt You?

If we’re a people pleaser we might devote very little time to taking care of our own health.

Our efforts to take care of others prevent us from being able to take care of our own needs, and this is where balance is needed.

Can Being A People Pleaser Be Considered A Strength?

It’s also worth considering it as a strength.

We’ve been told by society that it’s a negative trait, and we may think of it as a personality flaw.

It’s been perceived that way and reinforced for a long time, but it remains completely possible that it can be one of our greatest strengths, within reason.

Is Being A People Pleaser Manipulative?

People-pleasing can also be manipulative because we may have a specific outcome in mind.

Our goal with these behaviours might be to make sure we’re seen as good people by others, even if it’s at a subconscious level where our intentions are formed.

Of course, we may simply want to be helpful in any given situation, but maybe we’re also benefitting from the perception that we’re helpful.

Final Thoughts

This hasn’t been meant to make anyone feel badly or question their desire to show kindness to others.  It’s safe to say that we all have a blend of different personality traits at various times.

It’s simply important to strike a balance between being considerate of others and taking care of our own needs and boundaries.

Learn to say no when necessary and set limits, which will result in healthier relationships.

Thanks for reading, please comment or follow the links.

Sources and other reading:

How To Stop People Pleasing

How To Stop Caring What Others Think

The Importance Of First Impressions

Dealing With Fear And Anxiety

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